I'm not working hard. I'm not playing hard. I'm getting lucky, but I've earned the right to in some respects, and I'm getting berated still, but then karma is a wonderful thing.
Having offered to step up and fill the goalkeeper's boots at University, I produced a display worthy of my self-appointed man-of-the-match award. It wasn't as busy an evening I've had in net before, nor was it as flambouyant, but I didn't concede despite a number of attempts from the opposition, some more impressive than others, and regardless of the fact we only scored one, we still won the game this afternoon.
But the argument has long been beyond mere mortal factors such as the performances we have turned in or the results we have gotten out of it; rather, it's why we bother in the first place.
For me, competition has never been 'competition'. I can thank my parents for bringing me up to believe in the taking part rather than the winning, and although I do like to win, it's still a philosophy I attempt to conform to even now. For example, I have stood in campaigns and campaigned for candidates, I have wanted for something to happen and, regardless of whether it won or lost, took place or was overlooked, it is the fact I cared enough to be a part of it that holds dear to me.
I have tried and failed so many times that counting successes to failures makes no difference. Instead, despite the best efforts of influences from within my upbrining and Society around me, I care little for the relatively minor outcomes that affect my life. People will always think in collective terms, and regardless of whether they feel they're bettered by some factors, the guilt, or relative guilt in terms of a social conscience, will always force them to think the same as the people in their lives they value the most. Usually this means family or friends, but every so often it involves people beyond their social circles.
Every so often, however, they think 'controversially'; OPINION outweighs facts, or at least OPINION outweighs 'greater judgement'.
This entry, and indeed this blog, is not exempt from political, or Political, influences, but for best interests it tries to remain as unbiased as possible. Indeed, much of the 'politics' discussed tends to resolve around the one institution I care the most about, in Queen Mary University's Students' Union administration.
I have made comments in the past, unjustified, to suggest certain elements aren't pulling their weight, and it is perhaps me that needs to question the amount of effort I'm putting in compared to the amount I expect to take out. If the ratio ever exceeds 1:1 (with me being the second entity), then of course I am right to complain, but at best what I am seeing is 1:7, so subsequently my thoughts hold no validity.
Again, this is an attempt to enlighten the population by quantifying suggestions.
So here I am, pouring my thoughts and OPINIONS out to those who'll listen. I cannot sometimes justify my beliefs in any more than a simple sound, a gargled, 'bleugh' or a forced, 'meh'. But I have at least realised that is not my place to question, nor is it my place to blindly follow. As with most things in life, there is a happy medium from which we can begin to understand the forcings happening beyond our control, and from there we can either seek to justify, question for betterment of the masses or accept in order to avoid confrontation.
With my dissertation due in soon, plus other coursework and numerous personal objectives reaching their climax, I am in no position to formulate a strategy to do anything other than the last of those options, so I hope that, despite the limited readership of this particular blog, others in and around my current walks of life will accept something similar.
That is not to say that anytime soon I won't throw in the towel in a heat of passion and rise up against the authorities I voted in, rather for the meantime a peaceful transition towards the next stage of SU evolution, and indeed fiscal, social and perhaps even biological enhancements, would be the best chance to change what is 'wrong' with our lives.